i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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