Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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