I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
