I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize