how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
