the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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