I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
