this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
