If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
