In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
