Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
