are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
