Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
