I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
