Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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