chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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