did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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