What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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