She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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