Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
God gave him joint rollers for hands
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
