she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
