pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
