everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
