i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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