How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
