I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
