I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
