It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize