Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
