If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The adults are the big ones right?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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