This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
