he puts the penis in happiness.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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