You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
