Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
