that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Say something about gay babies.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
