Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
