Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
