I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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