I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
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