Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
