Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
