and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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