i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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