I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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