I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
