OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
