Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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