Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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