You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
