the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
How many fucks given?
0.12846
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
