i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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