Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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