I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize