so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
