What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
