I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
