if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
