Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
why do cheetos always look like penises
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
