I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
