I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
