Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Mom said you looked used
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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