he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
this hospital has no fireball
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
