I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think your dad took our porno
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
