she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
