it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
