In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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