North Korea, Best Korea!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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