Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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