JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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