oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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