stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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